Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
