So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
