I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Are we still banned from the library?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
