I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
