I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
