Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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