dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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