Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
