Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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