No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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