from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
