I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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