you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
