i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Found your dick twin last night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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