You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
