You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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