I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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