I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize