I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Two words: blizzard sex
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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