Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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