East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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