So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You ruined the universe
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
