3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
