So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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