i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
