So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.