Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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