its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.