Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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