why didn't you poke me back
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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