I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
