I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
