I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize