Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
