Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
