i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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