If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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