I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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