Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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