I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
