he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
