Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
