pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
