dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
