Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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