I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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