so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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