Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize