spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You've changed since you got that strap on
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
