Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
