I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Only a mothe r could love this liver
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
