my phone needs a breathalizer
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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