I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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