i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
