Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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