yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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