All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
