JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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