Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
