clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Randomize
