there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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