Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
