I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
