Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
