so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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