My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just invented taco cereal.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
